Whoever You Might Be

Right now, right this minute, I feel glad.

I’m glad I stood on my ground. I’m glad I let myself trust my guts despite anyone saying the otherwise. I’m glad I was being stubborn after all this time.

I’m glad that I finally have the courage to decide.

I’m glad I could feel again, though only for a day.

I’m glad that I am able to feel though only to realize that I would probably need to shut down everything all over again.

That’s just life as I know it. And I am living in it.

It's not a story about love and lust and heartbreak.

It’s a breakeven.

---

To whoever you might be,

I'd let you in when it's time

And until then, I'd wait until the heavens chime.

I would enjoy how the sun makes love with my skin and the wind messes up my hair

I wonder if your skin is tanned or as pale as snow

I would still love you, though

I wonder if your voice gets a zillion time sexier in bed time

I can be the echo in your room or the backsound of your hum in the bathroom

I'm going to let you choose and lead

I love a man who dominates

As long as you don't dictate and terminate

In hopes, you would love a woman who is equally intimidating as you

Though again, that might not be the case at all

I’ll learn my lesson, I’ll conquer every obstacles, I’ll continue to live my life

For I want you to see me as your equal

Take me seriously

Not as a kid, not as a girl, not as a woman,

But as a person that I am, as a person with feelings, as a person who is willing to try

I hope you already knew before I tell you this

I wonder if you would be so hot that I melt before your eyes

I've written a lot of stuffs about love

It stays on my draft, and most of them are shitty anyway

Yet a few still make perfect sense to people as crazy and dumb as I am

I promise this one would be about you and only you, whoever you might be.

I know love takes a lot more than we ever thought it would

I know love is difficult

I know love can be hurt

But I hope the first time we get to feel each other's skin,

I really hope that it would hurt so much worse than every heartache we both have experienced

Hopefully, we could sense a connection so deep and make a reckless decision to let each other in

Not today, not tomorrow, but soon I hope

I'm going to trust my heart in your hands, be careful, they still have thorns

I hope you trust me enough to do the same

Your heart might be a time bomb and I don’t plan to tame you

I’ll blast the world with you,

In hopes that you are able to see yourself from my point of view

That you are loved

And that you deserve so much in this world

Scary isn't it? To depict love as a powerful demon

Some demons are just fallen angels

They were good until they got hurt

I suppose love's the same, the greater the love, the greater the pain.

At least, let me hold on to this saying one more time:

I don't know who you are yet

Maybe we've known each other

Maybe you're my long lost friend

Or maybe you've been trying to reach me in this bizzare moment

I'm telling you - keep looking

Maybe we've ever been in the same restaurant

And sat one meter away from each other

I didn't recognize you because heavens hadn't chimed that day

Maybe you've ever seen me in my favorite dress

Maybe I've seen you holding hands

With your girlfriends, with your dates, with your exes

In the street, at the mall, or in the car passing by me

I don't know yet

What if you're thinking the exact same thing

What if you're feeling as upset as I am

Probably not though

I'm so sorry I couldn't be there for you

You should be sorry too

:)

But I know, you're as tough as I am

Holding on to that heaviness for quite some time

Been through bad times just like I did, maybe worst

The reason why Mother Nature put us through such defining times

is because She intended to make us equal

Equally strong, equally wise, equally gentle, and equally in love

Not now, not today, but in Her time

When heavens finally open up and unload its blessings

I hope you'll be among them

I'll let my guards down and bow down to you

You see, I am a traditionalist

A queen will only bow down to her king

We will start building an empire, a little paradise for ourselves

By making our own rules we can do whatever we want, however we want

It’s the trust. I really like the sound of that.

Dear whoever you might be,

I know this sound a little creepy, a little melancholic, a little disgusting

But

I really wish you well and content with your life right now

I want you to know that I'm trying my best to survive the storm

I am confused

I hate everything right now

But I will be doing just fine

I hope you do too

Please, please be good to yourself and to others around you. And stay good.

Until the day we find each other,

Be as patient as I am, as determined as I am, as passionate as I am

One day, maybe far in the future

We'll find out why it never work with someone else and I hope you're ready

Because I'm about to tear you up and hold you too tight

I can not wait to see you and be with you

I will do everything in my power to stand and become the best possible version of myself.

That’s the priority right now and I hope you’re doing that too

Only by then are we ready to let each other in.

Dear whoever you might be,

Please take care of yourself for me.