Bittersweet
How unpleasant it must be. To keep looking up to someone who put out the fire in you. To get hurt by the sword under their wings. There's no escape. Or, is there?
I thought I can no longer feel this great of pain again.
I was wrong. I forgot that I’m a human.
I woke up every one hour now, only to feel this excruciating pain that I don’t know I’m able to feel. I prayed for it to stop, but it doesn’t. So here we go..
Right now, nothing hurt more than that moment of realization of knowing the person you thought will be the everything for you, does not believe in you. I keep designing a grand masterpiece of my future. I don’t really like to talk about it to anyone, tough roads but happy endings for sure. That was the ideal world, but things are not always that clear cut. I used to see you there, but it’s all white now.
I’m sorry I didn’t get to fight this battle with you. Now we know we’re not playing in the same team after all.
It’s a lot to take in for everyone, and I’m just glad I get to see it now.
It hurt.
It hurts to feel like someone is more committed to misunderstanding you than developing any sense of common ground.
It hurts to feel like you need to explain why you do things the way you do, and felt belittled by it.
It hurts to feel invalidated.
It hurts to keep pushing people away, but that’s okay. I have my reasons, and it paid off now I guess. Ah!
We can’t have it all, but at the same time though, I have never felt this happy and ready to face another day.
Hi You,
Your existence in this world has shown me so much already and You’re not even here yet. You taught me that when the world feels truly dark, there is always light shining from those around you and often you don't have to look too far to find it. Just got to look within, and trust yourself.
People will hurt you in ways that seems impossible, but that’s how you get to learn your lesson and get back up.
But, I've seen goodness and generosity in people that is overwhelming and often from people you don't expect too.
I will bring you up to be one of these people. You will be a giver and you may expect it back but it doesn't always work out that way. You accept and continue going.
No matter how many emotional obstacles I have been met with, I will never get that through you. To be out of my comfort zone, against all the odds, You already pushed me to try to be the best possible version of myself. To be compassionate, strong, and confident with my judgment. Just the thought of it makes me smile right now.
It’s too early to say anything but that’s just how sure I am of You. I will never give up on You. I will protect You.
It is going to be a tough and fun ride.
We can do this.